


The Meisner Technique

by Kasuchi



Category: How I Met Your Mother RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-13
Updated: 2010-02-13
Packaged: 2017-11-17 10:42:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/550690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kasuchi/pseuds/Kasuchi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neil is working on fixing his character bleed issue. It's not really going well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Meisner Technique

**Author's Note:**

> No spoilers for things coming up (fake!spoilers but those are all) but lots of retreading the last season and a half. Written pretty much on a whim.

"David?"

"Yes?"

"I think I..."

"Have a massive crush on your co-star?"

"Pretty much." Neil practically pouted.

"It's okay, baby. I know it's not serious."

"But I feel so _weird_ about it."

"Neil. First off, you don't even _like_ girls. Second, you have all of this, what more could you want?"

"You know that's right." He ran a hand along David's arm.

"Third, well, this is just a case of character bleed."

"You sure?"

"Pretty positive, yeah."

****

&&&

They had a table reading for the season four premiere episode.

Cobie smiled when she saw him. "Neil!" She hugged him warmly. "I haven't seen you since May! What have you been up to?"

"Me?"

She nodded, hair falling into her face. Neil resisted the urge to push it away from her face and _oh my god what was happening to him_.

"Uh, not much. David and I spent some time together. We visited the folks. It was nice. Summer vacation, you know."

Carter and Craig called them over to the big table and they headed over, Neil stuffing his hands into his pockets.

Later, he made the "I'm-so-pained" face at Alyson, and her bottom lip started to tremble. He panicked and tried to reassure her. The others chuckled, and Jason smirked at him.

"That thing is a _weapon_ ," he declared.

"Yeah, well, don't make me turn it on you."

Josh snickered.

****

&&&

It started with the Sandcastles episode.

Cobie _definitely_ didn't hold back, that was for damn sure. He'd liked her well enough before that, certainly enjoyed the times they'd been crushed against each other in the MacLaren's set and she'd made snarky comments while the lighting guys made adjustments, but holy crap the girl could _kiss_ and he was getting dizzy just responding.

They did six takes, "just to be sure," they said, though Neil wondered if they liked making him sweat. It made him want to roll his eyes.

While the others looked over the footage, Neil applied Chapstick and twiddled his thumbs. "Chapstick?"

"Yes _please_." She uncapped it with a pop and ran the lip balm over and over her bottom lip. "You are a great kisser, by the way. I'm surprised you're not awkward about it at all."

"I'm pretty sure I've kissed about seventy-five women in the last three years alone," he deadpanned, leaning back on Robin's couch. "I'm pretty much over any awkward that I had."

She laughed. "Fair enough." She re-capped the lip balm and handed it back to him. "Thanks."

"Anytime," he replied, and tucked it back into Barney's suit.

That was where it started.

****

&&&

They threw French fries at each other between takes. The set dressers kept shooting glares at them, but Cobie smiled sweetly their way and promised that she and Neil would pick up all of the fries between set changes, which was how Neil found himself on his knees on the soundstage, trying to see if he'd missed a French fry.

"I hate you," he declared.

"Shut up and find the rest of them."

****

&&&

Neil ruined a take or three (or seven, but who's counting) in "Shelter Island" by kissing Cobie when Robin came to talk to Barney by pulling her into the room with him. It's funny every other take, because she never seemed to expect it. Every. Time.

Later, she knocked on the door to his dressing room, and Neil has to watch himself, because they're (unconsciously, because seriously, this is _real life_ ) staged similar to their characters earlier, only Cobie had an eyebrow raised right now and not Robin's sad face.

"What was that?"

Neil decides to play innocent. "What was what?"

"Ruining the takes, Harris. What, you thought I didn't notice?"

He shrugged and didn't really look at her.

****

&&&

"I'm pregnant!"

Alyson ran up and practically tackled her, and then Josh and Jason enveloped her in warm hugs. He hugged her last. "Congratulations."

She grinned at him. "You've got to promise me that you'll be honest about how hugenormous I'm going to be."

"Pfft, whatever. You'll be teeny forever."

****

&&&

She poked him in the chest. "The next time you check out my ass, you oughta be a bit more subtle."

"Who said I wanted to be subtle?"

She raised an eyebrow. "What're you gonna do about it?"

He resisted to snicker at her "about" pronunciation. "Nothing, nothing."

"All talk, I see."

"You're so off base, Smulders."

She smirked. "Been suffering some character bleed there, Neil?"

"So what if I am?"

"I'm curious to see how bad it is."

"Pretty bad."

"How bad?"

He searched her face for a long moment. Then, he reached out and kissed her.

When they broke apart, his breathing was more labored, and her cheeks were flushed.

"So, yeah, pretty bad," he finished lamely.

****

&&&

"I'm really tired of being naked."

She laughed. "I dunno, I didn't mind seeing the dailies so much this time."

He smirked. "Really, now?"

She elbowed him in the side. "Yes! The camera guys got really creative."

He pouted and she had the indecency to cackle.

****

&&&

"Aww, they're so close and yet so far."

"You're reading the script."

"Duh, Neil." She brandished the large packet of papers. "Have you seen this?"

"Yeah, it looks like I'm going to get to bust out my 'I-will-make-you-cry' face. I haven't used that since Doctor Horrible."

"Apparently you love tacos."

"There's an implied Canadian there. _Canadian_ tacos."

She shot him a look. "Still got character bleed, huh?"

He winced. "That obvious?"

She nodded.

****

&&&

He kissed her, her back pressed up against the flimsy support of a background. "What are we doing?" he muttered between kisses.

"Practicing," she murmured back.

"Yeah, okay," he replied, and kept kissing her.

****

&&&

"I'd totally marry you if you were to get deported back to Canada."

She sent him a look over the top of her script, coffee halfway to her lips.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

"Yeah, okay, never mind."

****

&&&

"I can't believe Frances McDormand is your mom. I freaking _loved_ Six Feet Under."

"You and everybody else."

"You want to run lines in my dressing room?"

"If by run lines you mean 'make out a little' then yeah, why not."

He raised an eyebrow. "Pregnancy hormones a little strong there?"

"It's like I am on fire all the time. Scripts?"

"Check, let's go."

****

&&&

"I literally cannot believe you have pink hair."

He glared at David. "I think I hate you."

David ignored him. "This is all totally your fault, you know."

"My fault?!"

"You're so method that you developed a straight boy crush on your costar." He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Neil, honestly, if I didn't love you so much I'd probably punch you in the face."

"You probably should've gotten that out of the way that ep where I had to look like I'd been in a fight."

"I'd have felt guilty for months, though."

Neil grinned and wrapped an arm around David's shoulders. "You'd have been able to kiss it better every night."

David thwacked him on the stomach. "You're terrible."

Neil nodded. "I'm terrible."

David sighed and settled into Neil's side. "This is temporary, trust me. You're just..."

"Suffering character bleed," Neil finished.

"Exactly." David breathed. "Besides, I'm pretty sure she considers you A Gay Friend and Colleague."

"Pretty much," Neil replied cheerily.

****

&&&

Cobie flipped through Barney's list of 200 names. "I love our prop department."

"As you should. Two hundred names, all of whom are crew members, execs, casting directors, and producers. And cast."

"They just copied the payroll lists, didn't they?"

"Copy-pasted like a college student five minutes before deadline."

She raised an eyebrow. "You are so weird."

"I blame New Mexico."

"Clearly you've had too much sun."

"You're just jealous, since they don't have sunshine in Canada. Don't lie to me - I watch _Being Erica_."

"Okay first off, that show is set in _Toronto_ and I'm from Vancouver. Second of all---"

There was no second of all - he kissed her to make her shut up instead.

****

&&&

"Oh my god, you're _so pregnant_."

"Thanks Neil, I'm so glad you pointed that out to me," she deadpanned.

****

&&&

They played footsie under the table while the interviewer took a phone call from the office.

"I just want to tell them," Cobie said quietly.

"Don't," he ordered. "The fans would _kill_ us. Especially you - you've been very Top Secret so far."

She giggled. "Yeah, 'cause no one asks about the show when I'm interviewed. It'll be nice to not be pregnant."

"How much longer?"

"Nine days," she replied, and it was like she was glowing. Like, literally glowing.

Neil had to suppress a groan. He really, really hated character bleed.

****

&&&

So then he hosted the Emmys and it was _awesome_. Losing to Jon Cryer was way less so.

"You totally deserved it, buddy," Josh told him, face appropriately sad.

"At least it stayed in the network?" Jason offered.

"You'll get it next time," Alyson insisted, baby weight mysteriously gone. (She was ginormous, seriously.)

Cobie just rubbed his upper arm a little bit. And maybe made out with him between statues, but he would never tell.

****

&&&

A couple of days before the premiere aired, Neil saw the script.

"You're breaking them up?"

Carter and Craig shared a look. "Yeah," Craig said finally. "We think it's for the best."

Carter shot him a sympathetic look. "We just don't believe the fans really want this."

Neil looked back and forth between the two. "This is because I didn't win the Emmy, isn't it?"

"Kinda? I mean, if they aren't giving you an Emmy for last season..."

"What the fuck are we supposed to do?"

Neil resisted the urge to slap them.

****

&&&

"I just don't see how they could throw away a season of me pining away for you!"

Cobie shot him a look, water bottle at her lips. "You mean, a season of Barney pining away for Robin. Right?"

"Right, right." He waved a hand dismissively. "It's still ridiculous."

She set down the water bottle and covered his hand with hers. "It's okay. We just have to trust them." She smirked a little bit. "Weren't we saying exactly this last season? After all, you're the one who was checking me out on camera last year."

He grinned. "Well, you have a nice ass, Smulders. I couldn't help but appreciate."

"Damn straight." She squeezed his hand. "Anything I can do to make you feel better?"

He leered at her, and she laughed and leaned back in the chair.

"Seriously, is there anything I can do?"

He looked thoughtful. "I have been wondering what your boobs feel like now."

"You mean, now that they're hugenormous?"

"Hell yes."

"Seriously, I went from a B-cup to like DDs, it's ridiculous."

****

&&&

He cornered her in Barney's office.

"Hey there," he murmured, lips close to her ear.

She grinned. "Hey yourself," she replied, pivoting to face him.

His hands instinctively fell on her hips. "You were definitely the best girl I got to kiss. Just saying."

She laughed and rested her hands on his shoulders. "The blonde got you down?"

"I'm too old for her."

She raised her eyebrows. "She's 24!"

"I'm not the young stallion I was once--"

"Stallion? Really?"

"Would you hush?"

"Fine, fine."

"As I was saying," he started again, pulling her a little closer. "I think I liked kissing you the best."

"'Cause I don't hold back?" she teased.

"Something like that," he replied, lips a breath away from hers.

"Neil, what are we doing?"

"This?" He shot her an innocent look, mouth still just beside hers. She could feel his lips buzzing against hers. "We're just...close talking." His fingers rubbed circles against her sides.

"Close talking," she repeated, hands clasping behind his neck. "Right."

They stood like that for a long time.

****

&&&

"So it looks like we get a sweeps episode together."

"Looks that way."

"Think our characters will hook up?"

He gave a once-over. "You really have to ask?"

"Fair enough." She licked her lips, script rolled up in one hand and the other braced against her hips. "Do you..."

He waited. "Yes?"

"Do you maybe wanna practice?"

"Run lines? Sure, why not."

"No, I mean..." She grinned, a little pink. "You know. The other stuff."

He smirked at her and stood up. "Worried we're out of practice?"

"Something like that."

"I was in fine form last week, I'll have you know."

"Yeah, yeah. Consider it a warm-up for your girl of the week."

"You mean Barney's girl of the week."

She paused. "I guess I'm having a little character bleed, too."

He gave her a look. "If this means you'll be cornering me in set supply closets..."

"I should refrain?"

"What? No! I was going to say, by all means go for it." He grinned at her. "If you can't beat 'em--"

"At least make them shut up, yeah I know the phrase."

"Good. I'll meet you in Robin's room."

"And bring your script this time!"

****

&&&

"You been working on that character bleed, baby?"

Neil squeezed David's hand. "Yeah, I think so." He rubbed circles on David's palm, thinking for a long moment. "I think a part of me is always going to have that affection for her."

David moved around the sofa and sat beside Neil. "I know. It's going to be okay, though." He pressed a kiss to Neil's knuckles. "You just have to know where Barney ends and Neil begins."

Neil laughed and pressed his face into David's shoulder. "What would I do without you?"

"Make the front page of every tabloid in the country."

"Been there, done that?"

David laughed and playfully punched Neil in the arm. Neil made his "I'm-in-so-much-pain" face until David kissed him senseless.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Yeah, I don't even. I wrote more RPF, and I'm pretty sure this is 100% terrible BUT IT'S DONE and I'm over it. It's not even that 'shippy, to be honest. Whatever, it's more Neil/David than Neil/Cobie, wtfe.
> 
> 2\. The [Meisner technique](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meisner_technique) refers to an acting style that is similar to the more popular (and better known) [Method acting](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Method_acting) technique, but differs in that actors live "in the moment" as opposed to drawing on their own experiences as a base for the role.


End file.
